One of the most fundamental laws of power is to make others come to you. When others come to you, you appear more powerful and people will respect you more. This principle works everywhere from the mafia to the workplace. This principle is deeply embedded in the human brain from our days as nomadic tribes. Making others come to you is one of the most powerful tools available to you.
We Are Tribal Animals
Our caveman instincts have never truly left us. We are still tribal animals. We want to belong. We recognize the rules of the tribe. One of the oldest rules in just about any tribal society is that the people come to the chief to counsel and to ask permission. The chief does not go to the tents or caves of the tribe members.
When you have someone come to you, you are tapping into this ancient practice. Even if your opponent is not aware of it, deep inside their subconscious is the understanding of how a tribe works. Your opponent will subconsciously see you as superior when they are on your turf. Others will also notice that they came to you. It boosts your social standing.
When someone else comes to you, anything they come away with will be because you let them have it. Even if you do not get everything you want out of the exchange, you gain the respect of others and the appearance of being in control. Others will act according to their perception of you as powerful. Then their perception becomes your reality.
Home Field Advantage
We perform best when we are familiar with our surroundings. When someone else comes to your office to negotiate, they are already on the defensive. Their attention will be divided between the task at hand and evaluating the new surroundings. This gives you a killer home field advantage. You can focus on getting what you want with all of your energy. They are operating from weakness while you are operating from strength.
When people are defensive they make mistake. They begin to let emotion contaminate their judgment. Because you are comfortable it will be easier for you to detect their true motives and to guide the events in ways that benefit you.
The power you have is always based in part on the perception of others. When people feel you are powerful, they will respect you. They will want to gain your favor. Having others come to you is about more than just one discrete interaction. It is about setting the stage for future negotiations. When others see someone come to you, they don’t question why. They just assume you are powerful.
Having others come to you becomes a self-perpetuating cycle. More people see you as powerful; more people come to you to deal with their issues. When they come to you, you become more powerful. Still others perceive your power to be growing because more and more people are coming to your turf to deal with their issues. This makes you even more powerful.
If you want to be respected and seen as occupying a seat of power, do everything in you can to make others come to you. If you play the game well, soon you really will be sitting on a throne of power.
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